When To Walk Away

These lyrics from Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler begs the question: How do we know when to walk away?

The better question may be: How can we more quickly discern that it’s time to walk away? Here are some experiences that have helped me save a lot of time and energy by walking away early.

Values misalignment

Over the years I’ve discovered that my clients, and my, greatest success comes when our values are aligned…and we have fun working together. If that alignment doesn’t exist, I walk away, comfortably and confidently, knowing that I saved us both a lot of wasted time and energy.

What helps me quickly discern whether there is values alignment is a psychographic profile of my ideal customer…a profile based on values, behaviors and characteristics rather than demographics.

The way that I develop a psychographic profile of my ideal customer, which is also the approach I use in helping clients identify theirs, is by asking the following questions:

1. Why did you create the offering you’ve created? What did you feel was missing in the marketplace?
2. Tell me about your most enjoyable customer. What makes them so much fun to work with?
3. Tell me about your most profitable customer. Why are they willing to pay a higher price for your offerings than your other customers?

Then, I examine the responses to each of these questions looking for values, behaviors or characteristics that are common to all three questions. Typically there are four that are common to all three responses. These become the psychographic profile of the ideal customer.

Once they have this profile my clients find that they subconsciously listen for whether there is, or isn’t, an alignment of values. When they find that the alignment doesn’t exist, they quickly exit the meeting using the words: I’m not the right person for you.

Interestingly, this profile also helps them become more effective in hiring employees, deciding which vendors to employ as well as in their personal relationships.

It’s rare that there is perfect alignment of values…that the other person possesses all four of the value, behaviors, characteristics of your psychographic profile. Having said that, the person  has to possess at least three of the four for us to move forward. If two or more are missing I walk away. Neither of us is going to enjoy the success we desire. We’re more likely to frustrate one another than accomplish anything worthwhile.

If two or more of your values, behaviors and characteristics are missing in your dealings with others, walk away.

Negotiations

There are several scenarios in which you should walk away early during a negotiation.

Walk away anytime that you sense the other person has a win-lose mentality. Long-term, mutually-beneficial relationships cannot be built on win-lose strategies.

Similarly, walk away when the other party won’t explain why a seemingly unreasonable demand is so important to them. Effective negotiations require information. Absent that information it’s impossible to find alternatives that satisfy everyone’s needs.

By all means, walk away when you sense that the other party is picking your brain so that they can accomplish what they desire without hiring you. As soon as I sense this, I put an end to the conversation by saying: That’s what people pay me for. At that point, the other party knows that I’m no longer going to share information with them and we part company.

I understand that in some industries, contract negotiations are mandated…that you have no choice but to negotiate with parties who possess some of the mindsets I’ve just described. The key is to continue to push for the other party’s rationale for their demand.

You can do that by saying: I’m not saying no to your request, what I want to understand is why it’s so important to you so that we can find a way to make it work for both of us. If they are unwilling to share that information, take a break (walk away temporarily) until they are willing to share the information needed to find a solution acceptable to both parties.

Not working

Very early in my fractional CFO business I had two clients that weren’t doing anything that I suggested. I don’t expect anyone to do everything I suggest, but they weren’t doing anything.

I sat down with each of them and said: You’re not doing anything that I’m suggesting…and that’s okay; it’s your right to choose what to do. What I want to know is whether you are going to do some of the things I’m suggesting. If not, I’m going to suggest that we part company as friends because you’re not going to get a return on your investment with me.

Both of these clients owed me thousands of dollars when I initiated this conversation and, frankly, I was concerned about whether I was going to be paid for what I had done previously.

In both instances, the relationship ended and paid me out in full.

As I thought about why they had paid me in full even though they’d done nothing that I had suggested, the only rationale I could come up with was that they knew that by ending the relationship I was looking out for their best interests. They also knew that I had done everything that I had promised and that it was their choice not to act upon my advice.

Walking away in this situation benefitted everyone.

Takeaways

Walk away quickly as soon as you realize:

• There is a values misalignment between you and the other party(ies).
• The other party to a negotiation has a win-lose mindset, won’t provide information as to why a seemingly unreasonable demand is important to them, is picking your brain.
• In contract mandated negotiations, the walk away may be short-term until both parties are willing to be more open about what’s important to them.
• The relationship isn’t working.

Walking away quickly benefits all parties involved because all parties save a lot of time and energy on something that is not destined to produce a mutually-beneficial result.

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Resources

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